the first bike crash is always the hardest...

or not... i am hoping that this remains my first and only. i bit it hard on my bike last week in a beautifully choreographed one person train wreck. you know how the universe sometimes steps in change our direction in life? well i had my change come in the form of a grinding halt and seeing stars, pretty much right after my face hit the street. never pick fights with concrete - it's a good bet the odds are against you.

i had one session of acupuncture already, several days of hobbling around at snail's pace, and am now actually able to find a comfortable position to sleep in. new bruises surface each day, it seems. two days after it happened my ribs started to hurt. now my jaw aches. i did face plant, so i guess it's not surprising. the accident served multiple purposes. it made me realize that riding your bike when your stunned by some other event is not safe riding practice.


i was reeling from having lost my job unexpectedly (and for the first time in over 12 years), and i thought i could ride home. it was a beautiful day after all. i fumbled for my cell phone, and mind you i can bearly chew gum and ride at the same time, and saw it all unfold. i tapped the front break, started to lose control, then hit the front break harder (great idea) and flipped over the front of the bike. the street sucker punched me in the chin, and my bike managed to bruise me fairly equally down both sides of my ribs, stomach, and thighs - which took the brunt of the beating. i knew there was a car behind me but decided i would roll over and lay in the middle of the street for a moment anyway. the sky was clear and blue, and i was utterly defeated...

i remember making a flurry of phone calls. miraculously my glasses, cell phone, and helmet emerged fairly unscathed.
some of those calls were smarter than others. i knew that despite all the drama i'd managed to condense into a few hours, that i was going to be fine, and in my best moments i'm actually thankful for losing my job. but i had such a strong urge to sound the alarms... to call on my people for love and support, no matter how near or far they were. then i walked towards a friend's house to wait for her incredibly generous offer to bring the company van and a big-hearted co-worker to ick up me and my broken bike and take us home. i lay down on her porch, in the shade, and took stock of where i was bleeding and whether i'd missed anything else. and then i just cried.

auspicious timing perhaps, and i'm trying to keep my bruised chin up and look at the opportunities that this turn of events offers in its wake. that was my first day of summer. what a ride. that night i got on my husband's spare bike and rode, very slowly, to see a movie with friends. when you get thrown, you just get back on the horse, right?

greetings from sunny Portland

well, not at the moment... but yesterday was truly glorious. near perfect temperature, sunny and breezy... loved it.
started my single day weekend with my standing breakfast date - me and my girl T, (and often assorted other folks - missed you this week chicn!), have a streak going. i think we're at seven weekes in a row??? and going strong.

i rode over with her, and we played catch up on the way. whenever i don't see T for a few days it's like that... lots to share. and she's a fantastic conversationalist. smart, thoughtful, funny, warm, supportive... and did i mention funny! we laugh so much together, even when we're busy commiserating. then we rode over to goodwill, and had a brief twilight episode at the checkout. i know that goodwill has a mission of employing mentally and physically challenged adults. that's really great. they employ lots of average people too. sometimes though, you can't tell who's who. after our cashier struggled to ring t's sweet set of juice glasses up, one of the managers(?) retrieved our bags ( isaid there are two together) and handed me T's upside down. It started like a faucet running, stuff raining out, as the girl lifted the bags high over the counter to allow clearance for my bike helmet. Her stuff spilled out of one of the pockets and all over the floor: lipstick (which we found in three pieces), phone, sunglasses, random bits of paper, spare change, receipts, gum - everywhere.
the girl apologized profusely (she thought there was only one bag) and i tried to make sure i found everything and replaced it. T was still waiting for the cashier to figure out a void and reentering problem, and trying to make sure her phone wasn't broken etc. we got outside, finally, and just started laughing. what else can you do?

then we rode back to T's so she could prep for work. bums me out that she works seven days a week, but nothing is forever.
we parted ways and i rode to work, also, to bring them some things i'd purchased for the store. then i called S to seee what he was up to. since he was leaving before i could get home to see him, i decided to take off on a solo adventure. i hadn't put on sunscreen that morning to waste the day inside... so i rode on, up to northeast side in search of a second thrifting experience. in my journeys i stumbled on trader joe's and got some much needed juice. i had a conversation with my ex back east, one that started well enough but felt a little prickly by the end. i checked in with another friend, since i was in her neighborhood and wanted to see her and her kids. alas, she was out of town. i found the second thrift shop and some decent 'new' clothing - jeans; a dark denim skirt that reminds me of one my ex used to wear when she wanted to make me want her something fierce; a red t-shirt that has a basketball on the front and the letters PBL... i know Portland Basketball League. yawn! i want it to stand for peanut butter lovers; an orange zip sweater (yes it's almost summer, but when you find one like this it doesn't matter when it is... you have to buy it; a low cut top that's clingy and makes my rack look, well... like quite a rack; and finally, a tight dress with a crazy mosaic pattern and gold sparkles. super femme and makes my ass look - wouldn't you like to know...

then i took myself out for lunch at one of my favorite cafes. The Laughing Planet has the burritos I crave. They aren't authentic mex or anything, but I get a big kick out of the fact that the place is pretty extra crunchy granola goodness. They have a juice bar and their burritos have brown rice in them, and they offer vegan hippy crap desserts that are probably amazing... But back to my burrito. The one I love contains the biggest, most beautiful and tender pinto beans i've ever known, delicious salsa, hippy rice, cheese, and sour cream... and tons of loving deliciousness. I get that and a fresh pear juice (which is out of this world) nearly every time now.

I have another motive for going there too. They have all sorts of toys around the place - they're super kid friendly, and they sport an impressive collection of medium to large plastic dinosaurs. I have a not so secret affection for plastic dinosaurs, and I've become a little obsessed with one big guy there in particular. He's my friend...
He looks like Godzilla, and I want to take him home and sleep with him and wake up with weird marks on my face wear it was smushed against his hard scaly body. I scooped him up off the counter and brought him back to my table, which given the fact that I'm 30 and was dining alone (no children), not to mention the relish with which i plucked him from his place in the lineup on the counter... well, it certainly got me at least one raised eyebrow from a staffer. I guess it didn't help that i proceeded to get out my camera, and photograph him a bit. That alone- not particularly weird. Doing so while also having a conversation with said plastic toy, out loud. That was difficult to justify and so we sat in silence and shared my juice.

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time lapse: i started writing this almost two weeks ago, and can't add to it now, but decided to post it as a snapshot. albeit an incomplete one.

direct quote from my day

at work, several co-workers discussing the view in front of our store...

"wow, look at all the naked people on bikes."

"well... they aren't all naked."

"i don't know alot of them are... good for them!"

"oh, there are the cops..."


yeah, portland's weird.

god, i love it here.

did some digging, and it's not the first time our fair city has shown itself (alot of itself) on two wheels.

WNBR

confirmed rides

(i guess this morning's was the practice run..."

walls are too thin

my neighbors are at it passionately tonight... and i have the absurd "luck" of overhearing every thrust and moan...
ugh. i know they've heard us too, or me sobbing in the afternoons sometimes. (the latter has been more frequent of late.)
i am both revolted and excited by hearing them. still i'm sitting in the basement, knowing i should be in bed trying to sleep before work tomorrow. instead i'm up and swirling with a mash of unfinished projects, uncomfortable desire, fatigue, longing, curiosity, and vague nausea.
seth is out late tonight, for the first time, with my bike too. it makes me uneasy not to hear from him. i know he's a little drunk, and i need to be able to ride my bike to work tomorrow.
but i'm trying not to be a killjoy. it's his first time out socializing with a potential friend since we moved here, and i want that for him very much. he needs a network as i do, and i worked quickly to build mine.

i feel very lucky to have found the people i did so soon. i have good friends here. friends who would help me laugh off the sounds of neighbors fucking, and tell me to take my tired brain to bed. even in this cozy apartment, with a dog who doesn't get enough attention, a kitchen sink that's too shallow, and walls that are too thin... and even though all that is somewhat temporary, i feel glad to be home. home at last.

a different place for photos

I'm planning on using this blog for something other than photos from here on out. don't fret!
you'll be able to see these images and more at another site i'm using.
please join me there for further viewing pleasures...

my flickr account

thanks and as always your comments are welcome and appreciated.
cheers,
mr e

little pleasures